Naruto's ABC's and L's
by KenthostheKitsune
Summary: A series of one-shots that focus on family moments between L and his adopted son Naruto, a side series to Naruto Lawliet: A Shinigami's Heir.
1. A is for ADHD

Since I know it'll be awhile before I can update Naruto Lawliet: A Shinigami's Heir, and due to the fact that L won't stop eating my pocky and Naruto spit up on me twice…I decided to do a series of one-shots that will take place from Naruto's baby days to his toddler days to tide you over until then. I will try to do so with each chapter going in alphabetical order like first one-shot would do with something that starts with A, the next one B…then so on and so forth. These will range from the cute to the sad so be prepared and I may do more than one 'chapter' for each letter. These will be completely at random times the first chapter may deal with when he's a baby then shoot up to when he's four and back and forth.

I'm keeping it brief, I know it lacks my usual detail but I'm sure some readers are thanking me for not overloading their mental mind's eye.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own anything relating to Naruto or Death Note, if I did, I'd be one rich bitch.

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A is for ADHD

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If L was considerably younger and had different coloring he could be mistaken for Sabaku no Gaara, the 16 month old son of the Fourth Kazekage for all the sleep he was getting. I'm sorry, NOT getting. The raven sat tiredly on the couch in his usual criss cross applesauce manner, not even his 6 inch stack of sugar laced tea could keep him from blinking his eyes open from time to time. And the fact that he was even exhausted should be a red flag to those that had known him. The man could go months without so much as a wink of shut eye yet after a measly 8 months he couldn't be able to stand up even if he wanted to. Soft high pitched giggling could be heard nearby, the raven's eyes swiveling like polished marbles to the right where a little baby toddler could be seen, wearing a diaper and a powder blue onesie.

Pointy neon blonde spikes that looked like a miniature sun fuzzed over the tod's head, capped off by a cap that could match his outfit, a fishcake design smack dab in the center of it like a jewel in a crown. Naruto was currently chasing his orange shiny ball, a red star twinkling in the middle of it, on his hands and knees. It was May now, and the eight month old hellion had started to crawl. L hadn't had a time to sit down since. Babies, in L's mind, were completely irrational. What made them think that sticking their finger, or in Naruto's case, a kunai, into a socket was a good idea? _Where he got that L still didn't know._ Had he not been himself, he would have glared at the blonde babe but only settled for watching blankly as Naruto circled around the living room multiple times, never dizzying.

It was like this all the time. The child hardly slept and L knew there was some truth to babes having strange hours but this kid took what he could only call power naps before racing off again. L swears those black marks in the nursery are skid marks not dirt but no one listens to him. It didn't help his case that the child had the attention span of a gnat, now granted he knew that most children are like that but that combined with all this energy he had a suspicion the child suffered from ADHD. Naruto didn't have access to Kyuubi's chakra yet, at least not enough to cause this kind of behavior. When approaching Sarutobi on the subject the man just looked at him blankly, asking what on earth ADHD was. L dropped the subject after that. Apparently this place was more primitive than he thought. They could reattach limbs with what looked like magic but they had no idea what ADHD was. If it even existed, there had been controversy as to whether it was a real disease or not and before, L hadn't believed it to be real…that is until he met his surrogate son. 

Folding his hands in his lap he let his eyes flicker away from Naruto for just a moment to the television, where Barney and the too cheerful to be real kids were singing that… goddamn… song. Right now he was thanking the Kamis that Naruto seemed to share his sentiment as the child hadn't paid a wick of attention to it. He had liked Sesame Street better, in fact it had been his favorite show…then cookie monster went veggie and shit got real. For a less than one year old his aim was splendid when it came to tossing his stuffed frog. L should know, as well as most of the household, they had been on the end of that furry, slobbered up monstrosity one time or another.

The living room was large yet quaint, the flooring and walls furnished with polished cherry wood with matching furniture which included a coffee table, two arm chairs and a couch. The TV stood in the corner of the room on a meek stand and the play pen was a few feet away from it, just next to the corner that led to another hallway. Behind the couch a few feet away was a closet which was partially opened, a faint glint glimmered from the treadmill Hizuren's civilian daughter-in-law used on occasion. There was a faint thumping noise followed by an angry war cry in the background and with a sigh, L got up and shuffled his way into the kitchen where Naruto was banging on the fridge with his pudgy hands, glaring at the offending white thing. He was a smart child, he knew food came out of there. Just not what he wanted.

If L wouldn't commit treason in doing so, he would have found a way to poison Jiraiya for giving a small infant ramen broth in a bottle. True he got a harsh lecture from several people saying the very salty liquid would mess with Naruto's still developing stomach but despite their claims the baby was quite fine with it. In fact, if L was pretty sure Naruto wanted more. The raven picked up the squawking blonde who could do no more than cry at this point as L carried him away from his prize. "You don't have any teeth yet…explain to me how you'd eat anything out of the fridge?" He looked at him, Naruto ignoring him in favor of testing his lung capacity.

L pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned as he walked into the living room once more, hoping the Sesame Street that was starting was a re-run and not that new crap. If so, he might have to buy a new TV for the Sarutobis at some point. He put Naruto in his play pen, ignoring his cries before going to close the closet door to shut it, his small spark of OCD kicking in when he spotted the treadmill. He blinked, looking at it, then looked back at the squawking Naruto then back at the machine. If L were the type to smirk evilly he would, or yell Eureka, he would. But no, this was L and all the young man did was smile mildly in realization.

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Sarutobi Hizuren sighed in exhaustion as he hobbled his way into the compound, his withered bones protesting the movement before the man removed his hat and placed it on a hook by the door. He was just in the process of focusing his arthritis riddled fingers on removing his Hokage robes when a loud giggle flowed through the air like a lovely music note. The old man smiled, ah youth, before pausing in his task and going to check on the little bundle that had turned their household upside down in the past few months. He put out his pipe before going into the living room where he could hear Naruto's laughter, because Nidaime knows he doesn't feel like listening to L list of random statistics relating to second hand smoke and deaths resulting from it…again. Sarutobi expected a lot of things for the baby to be doing, watching something on TV, L or someone playing with him or the baby just laughing at nothing in general but certainly not this. He didn't know whether to be angry or amused.

His surrogate grandson was currently crawling on the treadmill on the slowest speed possible in front of the TV, a stick that arched over his small body was taped to the baby's backside buttoned flap so that the other end dangled in front of him. Attached so said end, hanging from a short piece of ninja wire was a picture of a bowl of ramen, complete with little squiggly lines that pictured scent and little fishcakes dotting the yellow strings that were supposed to be noodles. Naruto scrunched up his face as he kept trying to go faster to reach the 'prize' only to go too fast and hit his head on the sternum of the machine, the little boy seeing stars. His little body rolling right off the treadmill as he blinked before yawning. Sarutobi sighed before taking a deep breath.

"L!"

Behind the couch L was stretched out on his side, head balanced on the palm of his hand while the other held a cherry red sucker in his mouth. He took the candy out from his mouth and said a single word.

"Damn."


	2. B is for Birthday

L slouched against the door jam of the nursery, hands seeded deep in his pockets as he observed the now 1 year-old toddler. It had been a year. Count them, 365 days precisely since the Kyuubi attacked Konoha and had been defeated. Yet the price had been so high. It was a soggy October morning, the rain spitting onto the glass of the window on which Naruto leaned against, palms printing pictures. He wore a red t-shirt with orange spirals on each shoulder and printed on the front in Ye Olde English was the English letter "N". His shorts were black and his sandals matched.

The two were the only ones left in the Sarutobi compound, the rest of the occupants had gone out to attend the memorial service being held in honor of those who had fallen that fateful, bloody night. The house was completely empty save for themselves, not even patrolling anbu were present as most if not all of the village was given time to grieve. L suspected this was some sort of trust test Sarutobi had implemented, he hadn't been left alone with Naruto for long periods of time without anyone near since he had arrived.

"Dada…."

L's head snapped up at the sound of Naruto's coo, still unused to the term of endearment. He hadn't coached the blonde into saying it like most parents did, the man suspected he picked it up from one of those children's programs. Naruto had his palms flat against the window as he sat on his knees in his crib, arms through the bars, his small body twisted so he was looking up at him.

"….Yes Naruto-kun?"

He gave him a teeth peppered smile, the toddler giggling up at him. L shuffled over to him and picked up the blonde awkwardly, the raven trying to keep a firm hold on him despite Naruto's squirming. L didn't know much about birthdays, yes Watari had made him a cake and gave him a gift, usually a puzzle of some sort, but other than that he was clueless. Logically speaking why did it matter that Naruto's birthday wasn't celebrated today? It wasn't like the babe would remember this ten years down the road when he could-

His musings were cut short as Naruto gave him a wet, slobbery kiss on the cheek cutely, the kind that babies were known to give. Disgusting but it was so adorable you had to smile through the grimace. Saliva lipstick was further smothered into his lily white skin as Naruto cuddled him and cooed 'Dada' once more. There was silence for a few minutes as L stared at him.

He found himself unable to do anything but sigh in defeat.

Being a father, having such a small life in your hands, was a novel experience for L. Lives had been in his hands before yes, usually those of FBI agents and detectives but this…this was different. Distantly he mused that the boy was making him go soft. Naruto was placed in his high chair, the toddler banging what he thought was a drum solo on the tray. Despite the picture Watari and L had painted with the elderly man serving him so thoroughly, L did indeed know how to cook and take care of himself. He just had to refine it a lot more once he became Naruto's legal guardian. Sarutobi wasn't too keen on the idea of Naruto living off sweets for the rest of his life and L was on the fence about that. On one hand he agreed wholeheartedly on the other… it was such a pity.

The genius expended no extra movement as he robotically moved about the kitchen, picking up needed utensils and ingredients. Deciding to make two small cakes, one for Naruto and one for himself, L was interrupted halfway through the mixing process by Naruto's newest bout of fussing. Sighing in a resigned manner, one that was becoming more familiar by the day, L brushed his flour laced hands on his jeans before picking up the birthday boy and sitting him down on the counter right by the mixing bowls. One filled with strawberry batter and the other, chocolate. He turned away for just a moment to retrieve the pans to bake them in… too bad L was ignorant of this universal equation any person that graduated Parenting 101 knew first hand. Babies plus food equals mess.

SPLAT!

Xx 10 Minutes Later xX

Before L knew it the kitchen was painted a rather fetching flavor of pink, including himself and Naruto. Thankfully he was able to pry the chocolate mix out of his reach before the room got a second coating of sugary goodness. L picked up the now empty bowl with his index and thumb fingers on both hands before overturning it slowly, a slight 'plop!' was heard as a single strawberry teardrop drifted to the floor. Blinking slowly, L merely deposited the empty bowl into the sink before pouring its companion into its designated pan. He popped it in the pre-heated oven and set the timer for the appropriate time before he creakingly, sluggishly, swung his body to face the offending pink blonde. L gave a rather good impression of a rusted tin man he read about once in Western literature.

Naruto was unaware of his guardian's vacant look as he attempted to lick the batter off his elbow, a feat that was for all rights and purposes impossible. The infant was getting frustrated as his tongue just wouldn't reach and in trying to curl his body to reach the short distance he fell on his back on the counter and began cry in his dissatisfaction. L decided that the bath Naruto had to take was punishment enough for this transgression, he almost groaned at the fight he would running right into. It was almost as bad as a battle of wits with Light Yagami had been… almost.

Xx 30 Minutes Later After a Vicious Battle of Bubbles and Scalding Hot Water xX

L finished drying Naruto off and dressed him in a pair of shorts, knowing better now that he'd probably just ruin his clothes once he had the cake. This time once he put Naruto in his high chair he left him there, he didn't need what he called the second coming of Magenta. He needed that like New Orleans needed a sequel to Katrina. There was a soft 'ding!' sound at the approximate time he predicted would flush out the perfect cake, moist yet firm. Taking out the small circle out of the oven he dabbled on white and orange icing in a precise, almost painstaking manner that almost had him sweating. It must be perfect. By the end of it all the small cake looked like something made a few weeks away rather than now with its colors and somewhat dark designs. Included in said designs were his easily recognizable 'L' symbol, a small rendering of a rather memorable black book, a few orange swirls, and finally a chibified nine tailed fox.

Using the only fingers he preferred to when carrying and/or holding something, L shambled over to Naruto's high chair, the blonde Japanese version of Dennis the Menace all but bouncing in the constraining seat. Not really thinking about it, L put the cake down in front of him, already plated and turned to get two pairs of chopsticks. Then he heard a rather disturbing noise. A noise that promised further migraine pains. A noise that promised a test to see if he was ever capable of true anger. Head twitching just a little, L turned his head so slowly you could almost hear it _creak._

Naruto was planted, face first, into said cake. Eating off the plate much like a dog would eat out of its food bowl, a chocolate facial printed upon his cherubic face. L had heard of diving into things head first but this was ridiculous. His footsteps were measured, just as measured as the designs he had so carefully inscribed on the spongy confection that was now being ripped apart with the cheerful viciousness only a child could have. The baby looked up with his doe-like baby blues, so innocent and open, having absolutely no idea what he had done. How hard it would be to clean him again. How hard L had worked on that tiny, but significant treat. He hunched over so he was eye to eye with the last Namikaze, less than a few inches away.

"…What exactly do you have to say for yourself?"

Without missing a beat, Naruto smiled widely, grabbed a glob of the cake with his pudgy fingers and offered it to him, pressing it against L's mouth slightly.

"Ca-kee?"

Faced against Naruto's wide eyed sweetness and his …attempt at sharing… L could do nothing but let a small, ghost like smile grace his lips as he let his surrogate son shove the small piece into his mouth. Sighing he straightened up… well straightened up as much as you expected L of all people to and surveyed the disaster area that was the kitchen, idly scratching his head some.

"… Can't say the day has been uneventful."

Onyx drops looked back at Naruto, who was happily ingesting his first ever birthday cake, while he'd no doubt get a stomach ache or be way too hyper for his nap later, L couldn't find it in him to care right now. The man shoving his hands in his pockets with a small sliver of amused resignation.

"Happy Birthday Naruto-kun."


	3. C is for Condiments

Sorry I've been gone so long, been real busy with college… damn you educational institution!

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C is for Condiments

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"What dose?"

L glanced up from his plate, fries still dangling from his mouth like starched worms, to see large baby blues looking at two bottles, one red and the other yellow. He wordlessly swallowed them all in one gulp, the kind that when you saw it you winced and wondered how the hell it all managed to go down the pipe at once.

"What'd you say Naruto?"

Naruto puffed his cheeks, knowing the man had heard him but wouldn't answer his question unless he enunciated better. The 3 year old let out a frustrated sigh and spoke slowly and somewhat loudly to make _sure_ his caretaker heard him. And jabbed a finger, almost accusingly at the topic in question.

"What….are…those?"

L gave what Naruto called his 'ghost grin', the two were currently tucked back in a corner of a recently opened Akimichi run diner. While he did like the cuisine of Konoha, he refused to live in a place that did not cater to some of his more exotic if not current tastes. He nearly went into cardiac arrest when he learned they did not know what hamburgers were. Granted it was not one of his all time favorite foods, however that was just an indication they knew very little of foreign cuisine. That is, if places such as Germany, America, France, Switzerland, Britain, Mexico etcetera even existed in this realm. He should have asked Kami before coming here.

Back to the matter at hand, it hadn't taken much to convince some of the Akimichi clan to try out his 'original' recipes, the bubbling curiosity for new dishes had been far too tempting for them to ignore. It had helped that he bragged of food from distant lands, ones that held tastes that were so far out there, it would draw crowds in inevitably if only because their taste buds were peaked as much as their interest. Chouza, the clan head himself had personally tasted and graded every recipe L had written down, the genius having figured it all out by pure sensory memory, and had expressed interest in buying them off the raven. Not one to pass up an opportunity to physically not have to work for money they developed a bit of an under the table but still legal partnership and opened up a new restaurant featuring these new delicacies. So far it was a smashing success.

L glanced at the two condiment bottles boredly, it had taken some experimentation to figure out how to make acceptable ketchup and mustard but in the end it had been worth it. Even if his tongue had been numb to the taste after awhile.

"The yellow bottle contains mustard and the red bottle contains ketchup."

Naruto scrunched up his face, his whiskers wrinkling with it, as he comprehended and processed what L had said. Inquisitive blue eyes eyed the bottles contemplatively before he chirped out another question, this time speaking coherently.

"What are they for?"

"They are condiments that one includes in various meals, some include but are not limited to hamburgers, fries, hot dogs….just to name a few. Some people may prefer one over the other, but I cannot see one without the other."

Naruto alternated glances between the two containers, blue eyes like dyed ping pong balls before he clumsily but determinedly took each one and spread a small puddle of each on his plate. He took two french fries, one per hand and dipped them, one per glob with the finesse of an artist would his palate before hesitantly taking a bite of one then the other. His face scrunched up at the tangy taste of mustard and he seemed thoughtful after the ketchup. L watched curiously as Naruto took a spoon and mixed the two, his eyes widening as fast as his smile as he realized red and yellow together made his favorite color: Orange!

The toddler dipped a new fry into the concoction and smiled as he ate it, eyes closed so they blended in with his whisker marks.

"I get what ya mean."

L would later find it absolutely hilarious, although he didn't show it, when five years later he would get around to telling Naruto who his parents were. The first thing the eight year old did upon seeing a photograph of Kushina and Minato, was hug the frame close to his heart.

"Ketchup and Mustard!"

"Yes Naruto…and you're Orange."

XxAuthor's NotexX

For those of you who don't get it, Kushina and Minato have yellow and red hair, hence the ketchup and mustard reference. Also their nicknames are 'The Yellow Flash' and 'The Red Habanero' what do you get when you mix the two? Orange. Ta da.


	4. D is for Dyed

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Naruto or Death Note. If I did, you think my ass would be sitting at a computer posting here it for free?

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D is for Dyed

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Naruto bounced eagerly as if a jack rabbit had taken residence in the seat of his pants, the jittery blonde toddler boinging off his sandaled toes as wide cerulean coins gleamed in the direction of his father. L lowered the report he was reading and black holes gazed at the small child curiously, while most would find an empty void the likes of which Severus Snape would green over, Naruto found a light encompassing warmth. The two had a five minute stare off before L spoke, a low mellow murmur that Naruto knew from few experiences could be louder if the man wished. Usually he wished it in conjunction with the times when Naruto was into mischief.

"Yes Naruto-kun?"

"Dad Dad Dad Dad…."

Yes son, L heard you the first time. The boy seemed at a loss for words after that, as if they were lodged in his pipe wide throat and couldn't could unstuck. His easy going grin that was all but hot glued to his small chubby face fell flat, uncertainty weighing it down at both ends, allowing the middle to be a rolling hill. Naruto turned his head away, hand reaching up in that somewhat irritating habit he had of sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. Thankfully he snapped out of it though, his father had often reminded him the importance of never wasting time. Time was something you couldn't get back, couldn't get a refund for as if it were a type of currency well wasted. And often times, people tended to forget that. Even those as disciplined as ninja or samurai, found their time wasted in unhealthy frivolities. That wasn't to say one couldn't relax, or goof off. His definition of 'wasted' was dedicating time to something you did not enjoy and didn't have an obligation to do.

Trying to gather up his courage, a task as difficult as cupping water in your hands, his hand fell to his side and bunched into a fist, a determined glint slicing through his pupils.

"Daddy…can I have hair like your's?"

L continued to stare at him, expression not changing, not comprehending what Naruto meant. The child's cheeks puffed up in further embarrassment and irritation, for some reason the child hated asking for things. Lawliet Naruto was very independent, sometimes a bit too much. A whine entered his squeaky high pitched voice that would no doubt torture ears until he hit puberty unless it lowered.

"All the other kids…they look like their parents…I wanna look like you. I want black hair too!"

Ah, now he understood, at least a little. Naruto wanted to further strengthen their bond as father and son, have more in common with him…have some reassurance of their familial relationship. It would also help Naruto blend in better, a part of L's calculating mind whispered, at least until he was old enough to defend himself. The child stood out with his dandelion style, bright and beaming, a beacon in the sea of burgundy, brown, and black waves. It suited Naruto's rather sunny disposition, his personality like the butter detecting weeds. Beautiful and bright, and no matter how much you tried, you couldn't shake them permanently. Every spring with a tenacity unseen in other plants, always so fragile, it would bloom again. Nature's way of saying fuck you to every frustrated gardener that demanded perfection out of their plot of green. Naruto was so sunny…so _bright. _There are various different kinds of ninja L had found.

The first group, were those that belonged in the light. Heroes that had emerged like the deceased Hokage, Jiraiya, Hatake Sakumo and, after his death, Uchiha Obito. They were those that the village looked up, that were meant to be models for the next generation. The figures that romanticized the life of a ninja and inspired young children, too young to see through the glamour and spot the gory, not the glory, to declare their want of adventure, of saving princesses, and of seeing the vast world in which they lived. Then there were those that were gray, nobodies really, they didn't stick out for their skills or lack thereof. They were just average cannon fodder, another digit in the intimidating number of men under one nation's command, used to quail others from vying for their precarious position in the Elemental food chain.

And finally, we arrive at the third group: those meant for shadow. Danzo, and men that served under him, L was under no illusion that they were no longer in operation, made the mould of this category. Unlike Sarutobi he found them useful, and really, necessary. They were the ones that did the things no one else had the stomach for, that carried out the less noble work unseen, and unheard, forever faceless trapped the cusp of a colorless corner. Although their methods did leave much to be desired. L saw Naruto as a future member of the first caste, as the blonde would never content himself with mediocrity, nor was he the type to be hidden away not to see the light of day. These groups did not correspond to the notions of good and evil, because in hindsight, weren't they all taking lives? L was never a religious man, but he was certain that in probably every one, they'd be considered those going to Hell. Might be fun.

He was brought back to himself as he felt Naruto tug impatiently at his bangs, an unidentified shade of blue glaring at him in impatience for a reply. That virtue he had still yet to learn, unfortunately and he wasn't sure if Naruto would ever have the patience to learn how to be…patient.

"Are you sure that is what you want? I thought you liked standing out."

"…..I'd…I'd rather be invisible and feel like I belong than be unique and feel alone!"

A flush brushed over his whiskers in embarrassment as his voice had unintentionally gone higher than intended with emotion, making it seem as though he was a decible away from yelling. L stared at him.

"Naruto. Changing your hair color will not make you any less my…son. Or you."

He was trying to get used to saying that instead of 'ward'. It was hard…considering he didn't get any of the good sex it took to make him no doubt. It was like getting the hangover without drinking a sip. He had seen pictures of his mother, in old bingo books, very attractive woman.

"I will still accept you as mine, and take care of you…regardless of how you appear."

"Even if my hair was made out of candy?"

"….If that were true, I might eat it then. You'd wake up bald. But I'd still take care of you."

Naruto laughed, he couldn't help it, but he was a tad nervous and put his hands on his head almost protectively. His Dad looked dead serious.

"But if you wish to proceed further with this idea, then we can try. Experiment. The next time I go to the store I will take you with me."

"Yatta!"

It was only the next day that Naruto bugged him enough to go, his dad walked so slow! Once they got there, L had no idea how many shades of black there were. Black was black. It was ridiculous really. There were no 'shades' of black, in his book. The most annoying part? Having his son grab each and every box, yank his head down, hold it up to his hair, hitting him in the face a couple times, to compare the two to get the closest coloring. Please note it took approximately four hours, thirty-six minutes and eleven seconds to find a product that satisfied the tiny blonde. And finally when they found that box it happened to be at the very bottom of a display pyramid in the middle of the aisle and L was not quick enough.

"Naruto-"

CRASH!

L opened his eyes to find himself up to his thighs in boxes, Naruto's hair the only thing that stuck out like it was a rising sun in a sea of hair care products. His little head popped up and bobbed as he tried to wiggle to the top, L sighing deeply as the irritated 'ahem' of a store employee growled behind him.

"Found it Dad!"

Hence their adventure in the super market. Naruto sat as still as a statue later that night as L dyed his hair, occasionally giggling at the cool wetness that tickled his scalp. As L ran his plastic encased fingers through his hair, blonde bleeding to black, he couldn't help but wonder at the feelings bubbling through his bones, to his heart. If it didn't stop soon he might have to check in at the hospital.

It was Pride and Love, which burrowed through him, eating away at his person like augmented termites. And much to L's horror and perhaps, silent relief later on, there were very few cures for those. They were then followed by dread…because Naruto would probably want to dye his eyebrows to match next.

To all those that review my stories, I am sorry if I haven't replied back! Things have been hectic, and I will reply when I can.

News on my other stories:

MDHBFY – I finally found the notes for it! Yes! The main problem with updating that was due to losing my notes on the plot! Hopefully I can post the next chapter soon!

LIADWAC – Will update asap

Naruto Lawliet: A Shinigami's Heir- Will update as soon as I finish one of the other two. -_- I have until August with no school…I think I can update more.

Anyway, please write a review and I hope you enjoyed this installment of parenting pandemonium!

Kenthos


	5. E is for Excavation

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E is for Excavation

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"Don't kill yourself Naruto."

"I know Dad! I'll be careful, I promise dattebayou!"

"Hmm."

"Look! There it is!"

L walked with his hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets to shield them from the harsh October winds, flavored with multi-colored leaves. Naruto broke out into a run, looking every bit of Halloween personified with his dark onyx hair and bright orange hoodie that all but looked like a dress on him. Imprinted on the back was a Jack o' Lantern's creepy visage, making him a baby pumpkin. His black pants went to his ankles and hung loosely around the top of his boots.

It had been a few weeks since 8-year old Naruto found out his parents were and was more than eager to learn more about the people they had been. The final battlefield against the Kyuubi had already been swiped clean by the appropriate groups after things had settled down, so there had been little to do there. Sarutobi had shown them the exact spot a week ago and Naruto had taken it upon himself to flop onto the patch of earth and close his eyes, nuzzling it. L just watched blankly, not comprehending. He could not understand how Naruto felt; L had never known his own parents and honestly…had never stopped to think about them. Yes, they had to exist so that he himself could, but beyond that he didn't dwell on them. There had been no point as they obviously weren't around. The Third Hokage had just looked away, eyes suspiciously moist as he tilted his hat further over his face to hide them. After about an hour or so Naruto had gotten up, an air of contented sadness cloaking him before he went over and hugged L.

Today, Sarutobi had been asked coughcoughguilt-trippedcoughcough into telling L the location of a small cottage that Minato and Kushina had stayed in on the outskirts of the village, not far from where the demon was sealed. It was hypothesized that for a few precious minutes, Kushina and Naruto had been sheltered there shortly after his birth. He told them not to get their hopes up, as it had been leveled when the nine tails had been teleported by Minato. That didn't dampen Naruto's spirits much if at all. Sure enough, as L approached the clearing a pile of rubble was all that greeted him. Aged wood and cracked concrete sat, crumbling against the elements. It looked all but ready to be deposited in a dump, yet for all that it was and never could be again, Naruto looked at it as if it was lost treasure. Perhaps it was.

_If you'll be my star  
>I'll be your sky<br>You can hide underneath me and come out at night  
>When I turn jet black<br>And you show off your light  
>I live to let you shine<br>I live to let you shine_

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Hurry up!"

L continued his leisurely pace because regardless of what speed he did, Naruto was going to start digging anyway. Shoving his hands in his pockets, they came out wearing thick gloves that would protect them. Grinning widely, Naruto would carefully navigate his way to what had been the 'inside'. Yet another quirk of Naruto's was that he liked to collect things and squirrel them away somewhere else to keep them hidden. L suspected it was a trait he might have gotten from his tenant. It had started out as far back as he could remember, since Naruto was an infant. Toys, pacifiers and even bottles would come up missing only for them to mysteriously show up later in Naruto's hands. Or in some cases, L would find piles upon piles of items that had been dubbed MIA in the oddest of places. And not all of it was just Naruto's either. While living with the Sarutobi clan, everyone suffered through 'losing' one thing at some point or another. Asuma was _still_ looking for his favorite lighter.

_But you can skyrocket away from me  
>And never come back if you find another galaxy<br>Far from here with more room to fly  
>Just leave me your stardust to remember you by<em>

So they dug. There was very little to be found save for two very worn hip pouches, still stocked with out of date soldier pills and shuriken, as well as a few smoke bombs. L said nothing as Naruto pocketed them. The rubble covered much of the foundation and most of the contents of the house were no doubt broken or ruined by exposure to the elements. Still, Naruto continued, his morale never lowering as he felt as though something told him to keep at it.

"**Look at you, Minato…you've already lost your head over this baby." **

"**No, I just…thought that Naruto would like it, ya know." **

"**I can't believe you bought that when he hasn't even been born yet…You're really being hasty, ya know." **

"**Naruto…Your mom's saying this, but you'll really like it, right?" **

_If you'll be my boat  
>I'll be your sea<br>A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity  
>Ebbing and flowing<br>And pushed by a breeze  
>I live to make you free<br>I live to make you free_

"Whoa…"

L looked up at the quiet exclamation and found Naruto on his knees, gently picking up something and cradling it like whatever it was, was made of glass. Shuffling over, the raven stopped when he got behind him and looked over his shoulder to see what it was. It was a den-den daiko, or a Japanese pellet drum. It was a small drum with two heads connected to a rod, with a single bead tied to the end of each string connected on both sides of it. When it was turned side to side, the beads would strike the drum to make noise. It could be found at any stall during a festival and they were very popular toys for children.

This one had once been painted a bright apple red with the accents being black, small ovals the color of canaries lining the edges. One head was cracked down the center, the end of the rod was broken leaving a splintered edge, and one of the threads had been lost. The colors were washed out. Naruto caressed the top of it almost affectionately.

"**Enough…"**

"**!"**

"**Di-Did you?"**

"**Yep…He moved…"**

_But you can set sail to the west if you want to  
>And pass the horizon, 'til I can't even see you<br>Far from here  
>Where the beaches are wide<br>Just leave me your wake to remember you by_

Tears slid down his cheeks, barely redirected by the canals known as his birthmarks as the toy was held to his chest in a hug. His own drum beat against this broken one. L kneeled beside him, an arm hesitantly wrapping around small, shaking shoulders.

"Tou-chan…Kaa-chan…"

"**Haha! See, I told you he'd like it!"**

"**C'mon…that was just a coincidence…"**

"**I don't care what the reason was…as long as Naruto's happy!" **

Naruto turned and tucked himself against his foster father's side, L absently rubbing his back until Naruto composed himself. The child pulled back and rubbed at his eyes with his arm, the toy still firmly in his grasp.

"Do you think…it can be fixed Dad?"

"…I calculate that there is an 88 percent chance any attempts will be successful."

L reached into his pocket and retrieved a sucker, grape-flavored, which Naruto gratefully accepted. Unwrapping the paper, he stuck it in his mouth and the two sat quietly for a while side by side, the only sound breaking the silence was L's own treat being unwrapped. Cherry-flavored.

_If you'll be my star  
>I'll be your sky<br>You can hide underneath me and come out at night  
>When I turn jet black<br>And you show off your light  
>I live to let you shine<br>I live to let you shine_

"**Minato, what are you going on about…"**

"**You and I are gonna have lots of fun after you're born, okay, Naruto…?" **

"**Hee-hee. That's right, after you're born, we'll always be together…"**

"Dad…"

L looked over at him, a wide smile breaking Naruto's face.

"Thank you…for bringing me here."

"It was nothing…"

Naruto got up, face cast against the setting sun. L followed suit, stuffing the wrapper in his pocket. This place was a rather beautiful spot.

"Someday when I'm bigger…and have more money…I want to rebuild this place. And maybe…a small memorial where it…happened…"

L didn't say a word, merely nodded in reply as a cool gust breezed through them, prompting him to wrap his coat around himself tighter.

"Let's go home."

Naruto reached out and took his hand, the find taking up his other palm. Together, they walked into the fading twilight.

_But you can skyrocket away from me  
>And never come back if you find another galaxy<br>Far from here with more room to fly  
>Just leave me your stardust to remember you by<em>

And that is why, to this day, there is a small storage seal on the inside of Naruto's left wrist. It is in the shape of the two kanji pronounced "kazoku", meaning "family."

_Stardust to remember you by…_

**XxXxXxXxXx Author's Notes xXxXxXxXxX**

**Song: Boats and Birds by Gregory and the Hawk**

**Bold Conversation: Taken right out of Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 3.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song, the conversation, or the characters.**


	6. F is for Fear

D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N

F is for Fear

D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N/ D/N

It was staring at him.

He shuddered as it felt like it was getting closer. He didn't care he was a grown man, and that it was and irrational fear. He did not care that everyone said they weren't alive. He. Did. Not. Give. A. Shit. He was going to murder the brain dead bastard that dared put the idea into existence and allowed them entrance into his home. His eyes darted around anxiously before landing on a long steak knife on the kitchen counter. A weapon. He could use that. But first…he had to get past the damn thing. Fuck.

When he was sure the gleam in its beady little eyes was directed elsewhere, he moved. Barrel rolling behind the table, he paused with sweat rolling down his brow. Taking a deep breath, he glanced at it again to make sure the coast was clear. Good, it hadn't noticed his absence. So close…

Just

a…

few…more…

steps...

Got it!

"Dad?"

L stood with the steak knife in his hand, mid-swing as Naruto looked at him wide-eyed. On the table, sitting seemingly innocent was his intended target. It was white, it was ugly, and it had a small green eye and a big red eye in the shape of a square. And a splotchy marker mouth finished its face.

"Oh! There it is, I've been looking all over for it dattebayou! Thanks for finding my sock puppet for me, Dad!"

Cheerfully, Naruto skipped away with it, allowing the damn beast to escape to live another day. L dropped the knife carelessly, the metal embedding itself into the wood.

L Loathed Socks.


End file.
